Slavery, racism, and the lure of the good side

Goodness me, it has been a long time since I’ve posted here.   Not only has real life got in the way, but I’ve spent my gaming time gaming instead of blogging.

As both of my readers might remember, I was very taken with Dragon Age and its opportunities to develop relationships with NPCs and make choices which affected the outcomes of the game.   Since then, I’ve played through more Bioware games with similar aspects: Dragon Age 2, Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2, Jade Empire and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.  I also replayed Planescape: Torment, one of my favourite games, and one which has some of those aspects I liked about Dragon Age.   These playthroughs have confirmed for me that I really, really do like those aspects of the games.    At the moment, I’m playing Lost Odyssey, and after the above run, I am continually frustrated by the lack of dialogue choices.   Actually, no dialogue choices.  The dialogue consists of clicking through to the next part.  It all feels so wrong.

Jade Empire was a very pleasant experience, partly because I didn’t expect so much out of it as the others.  And there was a great twist!  As in most of the above games, my characters actions defined whether they were a “good” or “bad” character.  I know good/bad is too blunt a description, but you know what I mean: paragon/renegade, light side/dark side, or in this case open palm/closed fist options.  And yet again, I found myself leaning towards the “good” side.

Why is this? In real life, of course, I like to think I’m a reasonably decent person.  I don’t use violence to achieve my ends.   In fact, I sometimes even balk at the “good” actions in games.  I don’t support capital punishment, and why would I want to kill anyone without a trial, even if they are an evil slaver? I mention slavers in particular, because in these games, killing slavers always seems to be justified as a good action, and supporting them in any way always seems to be bad.   Because I’m contrary, that just makes me want to find a way to justify slavery.   After all, if execution without trial is justified in terms of the setting being a different time and place, different politically, economically, traditionally and so on, then why can’t slavery be justified by the same means?   And where’s the line between outright slavery and “employing” people who have no other option?  You get the picture.  Anyway, I think that the games partially deflect some of the moral questions by having slavery as the exception rather than the rule and generally frowned upon.   It would be interesting to have your character have to deal with slavers in a setting where slavery was completely accepted, integrated and universal.  Not that the games completely avoid ambiguity.  I do remember the slave I rescued and employed in Dragon Age 2, who seemed confused, and possibly felt unprotected, by her new status as “servant”.

But I digress.   I wouldn’t kill slavers, or anybody (except in self defence, etc) in real life, so never have to make that sort of moral decision.   On the other hand, although I do give to charity, and like helping people out now and then, I wouldn’t, for instance, give a large amount of money to a stranger in need who asked, or put myself in danger for them in the way that I might do in a game.  So why do I find it so difficult to play closed fist/renegade/dark side?

I think that one reason is that there is a satisfaction in doing good deeds in a game, that you don’t get from doing evil deeds.  I love the feeling I get when I make the “right” choice to help a child or a grateful peasant.  I’m just wondering whether that feeling is the warm glow of charity being its own reward, or whether there’s a bit of smugness and self-righteousness.  After all, I don’t actually have to sacrifice anything tangible to be nice.   It’s a game.

I also feel that there’s a tradition of rewarding “good” actions.  Sometimes, if you say that you don’t need a reward, you get one anyway.  Or you help somebody and they fight at your side later.  Or you get xp.  Or you get a better ending.  So although people will tell you that video games like these are violent, in reality, they are rewarding good behaviour.  (And maybe encouraging killing slavers).

What about racism?  It takes a peculiar slant in these games.  I think most of us agree that racism is bad.  It seems to be shown as such in these games, but instead is presented as, I suppose,”speciesism”.    Rather being directed at other humans, bigotry is shown towards other species, turians, quarians, elves, dwarves, geth, etc.  Generally, we don’t normally have a problem with speciesism.  It’s just taken for granted.  It’s hard to imagine how our society would function if non-humans had the same rights as humans on this planet alone, never mind on other planets.

But essentially, the non-humans we’re talking about in these games are human in all but name.  Even visually, most of them look pretty human, in terms of size, number of limbs, etc.   To listen to, well, they are human, with human voice actors.   What is supposedly alien and non-human, is really more cultural.   The members of a species have particular characteristics in common, such as, say, a love of fighting, strong sense of duty or a Scottish accent, but some of these are things you might see in humans too.   Others, such as an exceptionally long life span, telepathy or an exoskeleton are clearly non-human, but not in a way that affects the essence of the person.  And they all speak English.   Honestly, if you listen to your non-human companions talking about their human emotions in their human voices, it’s clear that they are essentially human.

So you are not really making decision about speciesism, but maybe about racism-lite.   Which actually makes the decision easy, because we already know racism is wrong.

Slavery, racism, and the lure of the good side

‘Tis the season (to spend too much time on gaming)

Needless to say, I’ve been unable to stick solely to levelling my tankadin.

  • I’d decided to go for the “What a long, strange trip it’s been” achievement on one of my characters, so I’ve had to log in every so often to get the Merrymaker part of that.  I have everything now except “A Frosty Shake”.   The fun thing about it was that I had to queue for dungeons in the hope of getting the hat needed for one of the achievements.  The only dungeons open to me were Wrath of the Lich King heroics.   My character hadn’t even done the normal ones, never mind the heroics.   I’ve had this character for a long, long time, and even way back in vanilla she ended up with gear problems (back then, it was because the guild dungeon groups tended to be too late at night).  She was the one that I posted about some time ago, as having crap DPS.   I haven’t retested her DPS, but the quest rewards at the beginning of the new Cataclysm areas make an enormous difference.   There didn’t seem to be any problem with doing WotLK heroics in that gear (although I can’t speak for my group skills!) at level 81.  It has been fun, and now I have more confidence I might even queue for the Cataclysm dungeons.    I do feel that I would like to get a look at these dungeons before I go there with my tank.
  • My druid had to try out one of the new Cataclysm areas.  I’d been avoiding reading about the new areas because I wanted a surprise and I was very impressed with Vash’jir.  I couldn’t resist logging on to the druid to explore more.
  • I made a new gnome to see the new gnome starting area.
  • Of course, I had to create a goblin.
  • And a worgen.
  • And another goblin.
  • I need to get round all my main-ish characters to make sure they get their presents from Greatfather Winter!
  • Meanwhile, Steam has had a sale on.  Somebody stop me!
  • I felt I had to look in at Everquest II to wish my character the best of the season.

Really, I’m surprised there’s time for anything else.   If only I could find a way to make housework feel like a game.

‘Tis the season (to spend too much time on gaming)

Paladining and kicking

paladin (plural paladins)

  1. A heroic champion (especially a knightly one).
  2. A defender or advocate of a noble cause. (A defender of faith).
  3. Any of the twelve Companions of the court of Emperor Charlemagne.

I’m not sure what sort of cause my paladin is defending (I’m not a lore person), but it looks like I’m back in the tank business again.

While waiting for Cataclysm, I had been happily playing a priest and enjoying the relatively short dungeon queues.  But the itch to tank  was too strong and I had another look at my warrior.  I redid her talents and queued for a dungeon, and … found I’d forgotten how to play.   Somehow we got through, thanks to a nice group who didn’t rush me, but I realised that I should start at the beginning again and relearn how to tank.   I didn’t fancy another warrior, so I said hello to a four year old level 2 blood elf paladin.

Learning as a tank is great, because of the short queues for dungeon finder.  Every time I get a new ability, I have the chance to try it out straight away.   And, dare I say it?  Tanking seems to be fairly easyish when you’re always equipped with nice dungeon drops (my warrior used to do solo questing and queue every now and then.  My paladin has barely seen any of the world beyond Orgrimmar), and when the healer has heirlooms.

Protection paladins seem to be well designed to survive.  If I notice the healer is having difficulty keeping up, I can help by keeping myself up.  I really noticed this yesterday, when the healer left a group for Blackrock prison as soon as they arrived.    The group were happy to carry on regardless, with my paladin acting as both tank and healer.  We completed the dungeon and did another boss, and would have kept going if we’d had time.   The funny thing was that I really enjoyed the challenge.

You’d think that, given that my character can tank and heal, that their dps wouldn’t be great (my warrior’s wasn’t), but I often seem to top the dps meters, even though I’m not deliberately trying to do a lot of damage (except to create more threat).

I’ve also tried solo-ing parts of dungeons.   Sometimes the group has completed the part needed for the loot bag and left, leaving me free to explore.   I’ve found that, yet again, a protection paladin does very well at soloing dungeons, even sometimes (to my utter amazement) if they’re below the level of the mobs.   That’s another really fun thing to do.   The lovely thing about soloing, is that there’s time to stop and think and plan.   Those areas which are more challenging, where lots of mobs attack at once, aren’t a problem for a solo player.  I just use the ancient technique of pulling them round corners in small groups.   It’s what we used to do, all those years ago at the start of World of Warcraft, and it still works – it’s just that if there’s a group, there’s more of a rush, and because wipes are so rare, risks can be taken.  I love pulling the mobs to where I want them.  I wish I could do it in groups, but I’ve come to realise that the groups won’t stand for it.

The rudeness ratio is still much the same – just not enough to make me stop playing.   Sticks and stones, eh?   I’ve noticed that the tank gets the blame almost as much as the healer.  I remember being frustrated in one group.   They didn’t give me a chance to get aggro, and pulled a mob off me.  Not usually a problem, but with slowing spells, I was having difficulty getting to the mob to get the aggro back and took too long to notice that I wasn’t being healed.   Nobody tried to run the mob back to me, and I ended up dying, being hit in the back by the casters behind me.   The healer apologised and said that they had computer problems and hadn’t been able to heal.   It was possibly partially my fault for not noticing and self healing, but then I’d been told off for self-healing before so I tend to let the healer get on with it.   But the group said that the healer was healing fine, and it was my fault, so they kicked me.   I still have to work that one out (how could the healer have been doing fine, when I wasn’t getting healed and they’d explained why?   And why didn’t the dpsers help, if there was a problem?).   It’s very frustrating not having a chance to answer back when you’re kicked!  (At least, I assume I was kicked.  I was suddenly no longer in the group).

Sometimes the “kick” option seems to be overused.  I almost never vote to kick, although often the person will be kicked anyway (I presume it only needs a majority vote).   I think that it’s possible to carry “bad” players, to continue for a while to see if disconnected players come back, etc.   I suppose I have the luxury of getting straight into dungeons, whereas people who have waited a long time (one told me that his average wait was 40 minutes) do get frustrated more easily.

But let’s look at that situation again, in terms of fault.    Now, I don’t claim to be a great player or even a good player.   I think I have an idea of what my role is, and when to use which ability.   However, I don’t have quick reactions, I use a mouse to click on my toolbar (I’m sure I should be using the keyboard, but if I do, I hit the wrong keys too often) and sometimes I find the screen is too busy for me to see what’s going on.  I freely admit that I can make mistakes (and I don’t mind other people making mistakes).  In this case, three of us went wrong.   I didn’t create enough threat at the beginning.   The healer didn’t heal.  The DPS pulled a mob and instead of bringing it back, kept it away.

My fault.  I didn’t get enough threat.   I ran into the group, targeted a caster and used my threat-generating abilities.   A melee mob was pulled off, and I tried to chase after it, using my taunt.   I accept that I didn’t generate enough threat, but I’m not sure how to get more right at the beginning.   Maybe I should have targetted the melee mob instead of one of the casters?  I don’t think so.   I’m not sure if I could have created any more threat than I had already done with the abilities I had, so although that might have been the cause of the problem, it wasn’t my fault.   However, there were things I could have done differently.   Perhaps I should have let the DPS keep the mob he pulled, and concentrate on keeping my health up.   That would have worked.   I could also have set a skull on my target before I ran in and that might have meant that I had a little more threat on the mob the DPS had gone for.  (That would only help if I did it in advance).

The healer’s fault.  The healer said it was his fault, because he had lagged.  Again, although that was a major cause of the problem, it wasn’t actually the healer’s fault as there was nothing he could have done.  Perhaps if he knew there were going to be problems, he could have warned me in advance and I could have self-healed as much as I could.

The DPS’s fault.   The DPS guy didn’t seem to feel he had any fault at all.   However, he pulled one of the mobs that I was trying to build up threat on, meaning that I had to stop attacking, couldn’t use my AoE skills and had to try to get threat back from that one mob.   DPS overall went down (as I wasn’t attacking but trying to run towards his mob through a slowing spell), my health went down (because I was being hit in the back by the caster mobs, who weren’t being attacked), and his health went down (because he was being attacked).  It wasn’t an efficient way to do it.  Perhaps it wasn’t his fault that he pulled the mob in the first place, but there were some things he could have done to minimise damage – in particular, stop attacking the mob and bring it back to me instead of making me neglect the others and run towards him.

Three of us contributed to the cause of the failure.  I’m still not sure why I was considered the most at fault (presumably by the three DPS players – the healer thought it was his fault).   The person who could have done most to save the situation once it was happening was the DPS guy, and he failed to do it.

I think the solution is not to kick, but to all try to work as a team.   We’re supposed to be working together, not against each other.   In that situation, I think it’s best to see what will help “the team”, whether it’s me going for damage reduction rather than dps if the healer is struggling, for instance, or the DPS lowering their dps or taking mobs back to me.   (Sometimes the DPS skills really don’t help the tank to tank!  That group I pulled all together so that I could AoE them?   As they come to me, they get stunned or frozen and spread out.  The worst one is the ability which knocks the mobs back so I can’t attack them and lost threat!  The first time I saw that I thought it was a sneaky new ability of the mobs designed to them more difficult to hit!).

In other news: Cataclysm arrived a week late.  Ordered from Amazon.  Never again.

Paladining and kicking

Download Cataclysm early

I was excited to see that the Cataclysm expansion was available as a digital download, which starts updating right away.   No trying to do it all on launch day – just upgrade your account and you’re ready to go.

I was less excited when I saw the price.  It’s £29.99 without the box.  My pre-order from Amazon was £17.99ish.   So I’d be paying an extra £12 just so that launch day might be slightly smoother.   It’s not even as if I know yet what I’ll be doing on launch day, and whether I’ll be able to play right away even if I could.   (Some of us have jobs.  And stuff.)

So I was delighted to see this article on WoW Insider.  It explains how to change your files so that Cataclysm is preloaded on launch day.  It’s so simple that even somebody’s mum can do it.

Download Cataclysm early

Discipline … and the rudeness ratio

Wouldn’t it be nice if this blog was just about one character, and I could discuss the issues facing, say, mages in WoW, I ask myself?  I answer myself ‘No, it wouldn’t, necessarily’.  There are plenty of fascinating blogs there dealing with a single class in a single game, and written by much more competent players than I.   Meanwhile, I don’t see many blogs written by people’s incompetent altaholic, game-tarting parents.

I have three priest characters, so I’m not obsessed.  My highest level is in the 70s.  She leveled as shadow, then dual specced to holy at 40.  I thought I could use shadow for soloing, and holy for dungeon healing.  It worked OK, but not as well as I’d hoped.  I’m mostly out on my own soloing.  The minute I hit a dungeon I have to get used to a new setup.   If I wanted to level as a healer, I would have done better to stick to holy and queue for the dungeon finder, over and over.

A day or two ago, I decided to experiment with discipline on one of my other priests.   I had tried it for soloing before and it seemed terribly slow.  Now it seems much improved.   As a shadow priest, I always felt it wasn’t right that healing was sidelined.   I’m a priest, you know?  My low level discipline priest seems much more of a healer-killer.

I thought I would queue for dungeon finder and give it a try.  I explained to the group that I was new to this, and that they’d have to bear with me, giving the opportunity to kick if they didn’t want an inexperienced player.   Everything went fine until right at the end.  The tank ran ahead and engaged the boss in a different room while I and one of the others were catching up.  By the time I’d got round the corner, he was at half health.  I healed like mad, but sadly, it wasn’t quite enough to keep him alive.  Never mind.  I healed the rest of the team and we finished, then I ressed the tank, who blasted me for being a ‘noob’.  ‘Yes’, I said, ‘I explained that at the beginning’.

Now, who’s to say who was in the wrong?   He would probably argue that I was in the wrong for not keeping up with the tank.  I could argue that he was in the wrong for not waiting for the healer.  But in the world of Somebody’s Mum, ultimately, he was in the wrong … for being rude.  I honestly don’t care whether people I group with play well or not.  (And actually, with everybody except me using heirlooms, it’s difficult to fail even if the players aren’t that great).  I do care about them being polite.  I had explained at the beginning that I wasn’t competent.   Perhaps, given that, he could have spent a few seconds waiting for me to catch up at the end, or even doing a ready check (whatever happened to those?).   Or he could have acted exactly the same and just said nothing at the end.   I wouldn’t have minded.  But I did mind him being rude.

Does World of Warcraft bring out the worst in people?  I don’t encounter rudeness in real life nearly so often as I encounter it in game.  Is that because the fact that it’s online rather than real life encourages rudeness – it’s not like being rude to “real” people, to their face?  Is it just that I’m lucky enough to work, live and socialise with fairly polite people, and I have too rosy a view and too high expectations?  Still, although the rudeness seems a lot more common than in real life, it’s nowhere near across the board.   Out of that group of five running that dungeon, only one was rude, so 20%.  Nobody was rude in my next dungeon run, which brings the figure down to 10% rudeness.  And so on.  Perhaps only 1% of people in WoW are rude, but of course, it’s the rudeness that makes an impact, and not the quiet co-operativeness of the rest of the group.

The trouble is that I have heard people cite the attitude of other players – the rudeness – as a reason for leaving WoW.  I don’t blame them.  I can remember rude incidents from literally years ago, that have made me lose interest in the game for a while.  It’s not a case of stomping off in a huff because people aren’t playing nice.   It’s a case of not having the motivation to log in to be insulted – while paying for it.

I’m still here, off and on, paying for the occasional month and happily being rather antisocial.  I think that’s because the rudeness ratio actually is quite low – nearer 1% than 50%.  I would rather not have an ‘incident’ every few months, but I can maybe cope with that frequency.  I can leave the party, use ‘ignore’, go and get a cup of tea, and maybe, now I have this blog, write about it here.  And be grateful for the 99% of players who are polite, helpful or just silent :).

Meanwhile, I carried on and did another couple of dungeons.   Nobody died, even though we had a hunter with a death wish (who was eventually kicked from the group for incompetency and lack of English.  I didn’t vote.  As I said, I don’t mind how people play as long as they’re polite.  And it added a little extra level of challenge and practice, having to keep the hunter up).   So I did OK, although I definitely need more practice to get to grips with discipline.  I don’t have any add-ons at the moment and don’t intend to get any, so I’m using the default interface, and haven’t yet worked out if I prefer to use the function keys for targetting and the number keys to cast, or to use the mouse for one or the other or both.

Discipline … and the rudeness ratio

Hallowed be thy name

For the first time, I’ve worked towards an achievement, and now have a title: ‘The Hallowed”.   I’ve known for a long time that completing a series of holiday achievements led to a special award of a mount, but it’s only recently that I’ve even looked at the achievement list to see what was required.

For those that don’t play or that didn’t know, achievements were brought into World of Warcraft a couple of years ago.   When you complete certain things (such as reaching level 6o, or falling a certain distance without dying, or learning lots of recipes) there’s a noise and a sign comes up, and your achievement can be seen in guild chat and by the people around you.  I heap scorn on these pointless “achievements”.  And yet, I feel a slight thrill when I hear that noise and the sign comes up, as if I’d just won my 10p back on a fruit machine.

A few of the achievements do actually lead to a bigger reward than that, such a title.  There are some meta-achievements, which involved completing a series of other series of achievements (yes, I did mean to say that, but couldn’t think of a better way to do it).  A biggie is achievement “What a Long, Strange Trip It’s Been”, which is awarded once you’ve completed a series of holiday achievements (which are themselves made up of lesser achievements.  Phew).  It’s a biggie, because you get an actual sooper dooper mount as a reward, and according to what I’ve read, ownership of that mount will now grant the riding skill for it (meaning that you get free uber riding skill, instead of paying thousands of gold).

I was edging myself mentally towards doing this achievement at Brewfest, but didn’t really set my mind to it and ended up completing all but the “Brew of the month” achievement.  So the earliest I could finish the Long Strange Trip achievement would be by next September.  And meanwhile, I’ll have to log in and get the achievements for all the festivals in between.

Which means, of course, that I will have to pay a sub every time a festival comes up.  Clever, eh?  I’ve always been a very casual player, sometimes subscribing for months at a time, but more often just purchasing the odd month here and there.  Now that I’ve started working towards the mount, I know that any time I miss a festival I’ll be extending the time until I get it.   Now that I think of it, it’s a fiendishly clever marketing strategy.

Actually getting the achievement this month was a bit of a grind – something I was trying to avoid.   I had to log in to my “main” character every hour when I could, to talk to an innkeeper.   I queued for the Headless Horseman every day.  I did the quests up in Southshore and Tirisfal.  I went round a list of inns, collecting sweeties from candy pumpkins.

That was the part that I thought would be the most boring.  But it wasn’t.  For a start, I could do other things while flying between inns.  But most of all, I know that Azeroth is going to change, come Cataclysm, and there was something nostalgic and bittersweet about revisiting my old haunts – this time with good graphics!   I think I had forgotten just how big the world is.   My warlock was one of my very first characters, all those years ago, and I found that some of the world had changed even since my last visit.  The butcher, Dirk, in Gadgetzan seemed pleased to see me again and had a quest for me.  I found that I’d explored all of Stonetalon mountains except the part with the Alliance inn.   It was early days back then and I had no idea how to get there, so had approached from the Barrens, trying to avoid a horde outpost.   Theramore was no longer the scary, questless bleakness that I had run through with my level 20 warlock on one of her class quests (another thing of the past).  Oh, how I remember arriving in the Barrens and seeing huge dinosaurs for the first time!  Then later, looking for the flight path in Ratchet, without success (there wasn’t one).   Then sneaking past a horde outpost (as per usual) to get to Ashenvale, not realising that it could be approached from Darkshore.    It was a pain travelling in those days, and I never had any money, and was clueless.  But the sense of adventure and exploration was unbeatable.

Of course, I’ve been levelling a shaman so have been returning to old haunts anyway.  But somehow it was different going back with my little warlock, the first of my characters to explore those dangerous, difficult areas.  Goodbye Old Azeroth.  You will be remembered fondly.

Hallowed be thy name

Why do I pay to do things I don’t want to do?

I’m playing World of Warcraft again for a while, with the aim of getting my characters ready for Cataclysm.  Not all of them, of course.    I have the full compliment of alts, but have only passed level 60 with a small number of characters, and I only have one level 80 character (after playing since just after release!).   My plan is to get one more character to 80, and to level up the 80s characters’ professions so that they’re ready to train up.

Why only two characters?  Simply because they’re the only characters with cold weather flying.   I’m sure the price of flying in Northrend is going to go down when Cataclysm comes out and I don’t want to spend the money on my other characters.   Amazingly, after playing for all those years and spending very little, I don’t have much in game cash.   Pretty much like real life.

Another thing I need to do, is make some bag space.  Those characters banks and bags are pretty full.  Of junk.

The character I’m levelling up at the moment is a druid herbalist/alchemist.   I make some potions, I have some spare herbs, I put them in the bank.  For 70 odd levels.    That’s a lot of “spare” herbs.  I don’t know what use I think I’m going to have for a stack of liferoot, but you never know, do you?  I could send them to my inscription..er (what do they call them?  Scribes?), but they “belong” to my druid.

My druid took a long time to level.  I originally started out in restoration.   I thought it would be useful in groups, but it wasn’t a huge amount of fun to level with.  She got to about 40 and then I more or less abandoned her.   At some point I decided to change to feral and suddenly it became much more fun.   I played in cat form up until I reached the Burning Crusade content.  Suddenly there was a host of new gear and I had to decide if I wanted to stay feral, and at some point I decided to change to balance.

I’ve stuck with balance for oh, about three years or so?  But you never know.   I might want to change to feral again.  Or, since I’m now able to dual spec, I might want to have a feral spec.  What that’s meant is that I’ve had to keep a complete set of feral clothes and equipment in my bags and bank.   It doesn’t sound as if that would take up a lot of space, but I need two lots, a tanking set and a dps set, because I don’t know if I might go bear or cat.  Then within those sets, I find it difficult to decide between items, so I end up keeping several dps shoulders, for instance.   And I’ve been doing that for the last couple of years.

This week, I’ve been trying to clear some of that stuff out.  Instead of spending ages comparing items, I’m going by the item level and the rarity.    I may even just go by the rarity and get rid of my stackload of green items.  Will I really need them, even if I do respec?  Couldn’t I just buy some stuff on the AH?

I may also have a purge on all those “sentimental” items, and the things that I need once, but probably don’t now.  Talvash’s Phial of Scrying that I’ve had since 2006?  Isn’t it time to let it go?

The process reminds me so much of real life.  Every so often I declutter my house and have the same dilemma over clothes that are the wrong size (but which I might wear again!), or items that I must have kept for a reason, so still feel the need to hang on to, even though the reason now eludes me.  Or things that I was given as a present, so don’t like to just throw away.

And that makes me wonder why I am paying to recreate the low level stress of sorting out my affairs, but in a game?  Or is it actually helpful for me to succeed at this task in game? Does it motivate me in real life?  I’m not sure.

It has often struck me that I lot of what I do in MMOs has a real life equivalent, and the real life version is often something I don’t really want to do.  Sometimes I don’t even want to do it in game, but feel the need to for some usually minor reward.  (For instance, fishing repeatedly to get a skill up, or killing multiple boring, samey mobs to complete a quest).  I not only do it, but (in WoW, at least) I pay to do it.   What is it about these games that draws you away from some boring household task, such as cooking, to do some boring in game task, such as cooking?

Why do I pay to do things I don’t want to do?

Romancing Zevran – big spoilers!

I wonder why the romance aspect of Dragon Age has drawn me in so much?   Maybe it’s just because I haven’t seen much of it in other games, and because there seems to be a genuine (if hit and miss) attempt to portray realistic emotions.

I tried to continue courting Alistair.  I dragged my party on a quest to find a particular gift for him that I had heard he would like, then rushed them back to camp to see if it was enough to encourage Alistair to make a move.   He started off by asking me about my relationship with Zevran.   I was able to tell him, genuinely, that we were just friends.   (Because that seems to be the way things go in the Zevran relationship.  Friends with benefits).    Finally, after a lot of fussing, he came to my tent, romantic music played and Zevran’s approval dropped way down.   Afterwards, Alistair seemed to go on a bit of a guilt trip, talking about being struck by lightning.     I was starting to get fed up with the whole idea that I was somehow sullying his purity (or something) by bringing in a physical element to the relationship.    It left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

I went back to talk to Zevran, who, like Alistair, insisted on a choice, but for different reasons.   I made my choice and he became my right hand man.   I took him out on every expedition, except the one in the Deep Roads (where I replaced him with Oghren).   He kept me amused by flirting with Wynne.  His approval was 100% (adore) through much of the game, without me doing any more than inviting him to my tent (repeatedly, admittedly, but you would, wouldn’t you?).    I collected his special gifts, but they I never needed to use them.  He adored me anyway, regardless of what I could give.

That turned out to be the major difference between him and Alistair.  With Alistair it was all about him.  Zev makes it clear from the beginning that it’s about what you want.  There is no cajoling, no special quests, no gifts needed, no jealousy, no worrying about saying the wrong thing (unless you actually tell him to leave, there is nothing you can say that can’t be resolved  in the tent later).   He’s honest, caring (reciting bad poetry to cheer you up), loyal and devoted.  You don’t have to buy his body or his heart.  They are freely given.

Just before we went off to the final battle, I gave him all the gifts I’d been saving.   I don’t know if there was any point then.   He had been at 100% for so long, and ‘adore’ had already changed to ‘love’.    My character ended up with him at the end.  No regrets.

It was strange how involved I felt in the romance.   Zevran seemed ‘real’ in the way a character in a book or film might do.   He grew on me over time.  I was playing a rogue myself, but I liked him so much that I ended up giving him all the best rogue gear (quite selflessly, as it covered him up more.   My choice would have been to cover him up less).   I even ended up playing him more than I played my own character (I like to position him for backstabbing, and I couldn’t work out how to do that in tactics).    I chose him to rescue me from the dungeons.   I chose him as my champion to fight Loghain.   At the end, after Alistair’s speech, I looked round to where he had been standing in the crowd, and I felt anxious when I couldn’t see him for a minute.   Thankfully, he had just moved, and we rode off into the sunset together (for a time, apparently).   But it was strange how attached I became, and how the romance played such a big part in the story for me.   I would have liked more dialogue, but still, I think the romance aspect added greatly to my enjoyment of the game.

I’m playing through again as a male warden, romancing Leliana.   Or that was the plan.  Like Alistair, she’s rather demanding, and my male elf has ended up with Zevran.  Again. I think I’m going to have to go back to an earlier save.

Romancing Zevran – big spoilers!

Torn between two lovers

There has been an unexpected development in my character’s romancing of Alistair in Dragon Age.    As I mentioned in an earlier post, it was becoming a bit of chore.    I was glad when Zevran appeared, because I’d heard he was easier.

It turns out he wasn’t as easy as all that, but it didn’t take much.  He had lots to say and seemed to approve of just about everything I said or did.  I decided my character would take a little romantic detour with him, before returning to trudging the main road towards Alistair’s love.    He was a bit irritating, with his terrible chatup lines and silly accent, but at least he was a bit more … available.

He also turned out to be more fun.   He never turned down an  opportunity and always seemed delighted to be asked.   I started to enjoy having him around.

Meanwhile, Alistair had been making a move.   He gave me a rose, and I even got as far as kissing him.    But he blocked any attempt to get any further.  What really offended me was when he not only turned down requests to join me in my tent, but disapproved of me for asking.   I took him out on every mission, and tried to talk to him, but he wasn’t very interested in me, despite the rose and the nice words that accompanied it, and despite me laying my cards on the table.    He liked to have a  bitch about other members of the party, or tell me tales about this one time, at Grey Warden camp, when they got really drunk.   And I was thinking that we’d been through so much together, that we were both Grey Wardens, that we maybe didn’t have long to live, and that there should be more of a bond there.  I even found his mother’s amulet.  I listened to his stories.   I went with him to find his sister and stuck up for him.   But if I, Maker forbid, suggested that we go somewhere more private at camp, he’d immediately disapprove.   I continued to try.  I carried on giving him gifts.   He would thank me half-heartedly and his approval would go up by one point.

Meanwhile, Zevran was becoming more and more appealing.    His accent started to sound less silly and his bravado became more endearing.   He happily continued our no-strings, no commitment, no angst affair, making no demands at all, and treating me like a great friend.   I found out that there were certain gifts he preferred and I set out to get them for him.   While looking I spoke to him, and he told me about what had happened to him, and said that I was his reason for living.    Maybe it was the angle we were at when the conversation started, but his fine, blood-spattered features  and baby-blond hair suddenly appealed to me much more.  Even before I’d found the gifts I was planning to give him, his approval was at 100% and he adored me.   Not because of the gifts or what he could get from me, but just because of being with me.

I’ll be interested to see what happens next time we’re in camp.  I’m going to continue to go for Alistair.   He’s the main character, after all and like it or not, we’re in this together.   But if forced to choose, as I’m sure I will be eventually (I don’t think the game supports polyamory), I’m wavering.   More than wavering, I think.

Torn between two lovers

Sex and the single dwarf

I’ve been drawn away from MMOs over the past few days by the highly addictive Dragon Age.   As befits someone of my advanced years, I’m playing it through on ‘easy’ settings.   Unfortunately, I’m finding some characters aren’t as easy as they look.

I’d read that Dragon Age allows for sex and romance.    Of course, I immediately tried to cosy up with all the surrounding NPCs.  My character is a no-nonsense, hotblooded dwarf.   However, it turned out that it wasn’t as easy as all that.   Apparently you are only able to romance certain characters in the game (depending on the gender of your own character), and none of them are ‘easy’.  It takes time and work.   I checked  to see who I could make a play for and Alistair’s name came up.  Alistair?    He’d been following me about for a while, but I hadn’t thought of him as a sex object.  I’d been too busy to trying to flirt with Duncan or Cailan, or that bad guy that I forget the name of but really quite fancy.   (I mean my character fancies him).    Alistair was a bit of boy next door type.

Once I found that he was up for it (or at least, further up for it than any of the other characters who were available at the time), he suddenly started looking a lot more attractive.   Beggars can’t be choosers, you know.  There’s a war on.    So I set all out to get him.   I talked to him at any opportunity,  gave him the best armour and weapons I could find, chose him for every party, gave him gifts, arranged impromptu trips back to camp on the off-chance that he’d get bored with sitting at the campfire, even switched to being an archer so I could watch him flexing his muscles in battle.    Did any of it do any good?  No.  The guy is driving me nuts.   I don’t know if he’s being coy, or if he’s strangely asexual, but he doesn’t seem to notice whatever I do.   If I give him a gift, he goes all ‘Oh, really?  For ME?’ as if he hasn’t noticed that he’s the only person in my party who I give gifts to. As if he hasn’t worked out WHY I’m giving him gifts.   For goodness sake.

I keep dragging him out, thinking that the thrill of battle and the b0nd of fighting together might spark some interest in him.  I even put all my points into coercion, in the hope that I might be able to persuade him to go for a quick snog round the back of the supply cart.   But no, he’s still prissying around, pretending he hasn’t noticed I’m interested.   What do I have to do?  (I mean, what does my character have to do?)

It was never this hard in real life, I’m telling you.

Sex and the single dwarf