female gamers

This really is turning into a yearly blog! Maybe I will try to rectify that. I was thinking of doing Nanowrimo (again) this year, and my decision not to do so has freed up a huge amount of time that I wouldn’t otherwise have had! So, time to write about gaming again.

I’m still trying to balance gaming with “real life”. When I quit SW:TOR about three years ago, I realised that spending hours in front of a computer screen was not good for my health, my fitness, or my figure. I got fit, I lost weight, and I cut down my gaming time dramatically. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, that has to be a conscious decision. If I didn’t make that decision, I’d quite happily sit for hours, playing games, while no doubt drinking wine and ordering takeaways (no time for cooking and washing up!) I have to accept that it’s kind of addictive for me.

However, it works the other way too: the less I play, the less I’m drawn to playing, oddly enough. I’d still rather do it than housework, of course, but it’s not like it was a few years ago, when I could happily have spent the whole day staring at the screen, given the chance.

And the less I play, the less social gaming is. I don’t have the time and experience to do “dungeons” in ESO or SW:TOR, so they have become solo games. PVP didn’t appeal terribly much in either of those for different reasons (I wasn’t wild about it in SW:TOR and in ESO, Cyrodill was so huge and I kept dying and having to run back and get killed on the way … rather frustrating and boring). I did have a stint in WoW recently and that was much more social as there was so much group content that didn’t require a long time to organise and do: dungeons, old raids and achievements, world bosses, etc. I enjoyed grouping up with other guild members. Even raiding was quite accessible. I know many people hate that WoW has become so casual-friendly, but I have to say, that if you are casual, then … it’s friendly. It’s easy to gear up and you don’t feel excluded from the good stuff.

As for the hugely anticipated (by me), ESO: what happened there? (So long since I last posted!). Well, I loved it at the beginning, had fun doing the starter dungeons, but being a slow leveler I once again went through the experience of being stuck in what seemed like a single player game: levelling through quiet areas and lonely delves, not feeling I had the skill for veteran dungeons, and not managing to find a group for them at a suitable time (I did try to organise one, but the timing seemed to be wrong for everyone else). It was SW:TOR all over again!

I still pop in now and then as it’s now buy to play, and called Tamriel Unlimited. But oddly enough, I’m back in SW:TOR. Some of my guild have returned to it and as it’s now free to play I thought I’d give it another try, and finish off the main class storyline for my inquisitor at least. The story is actually turning out to be a little disappointing, but never mind: my misgivings about the game still apply, but I’d forgotten how pretty and atmospheric it was.

What I really want is to play Witcher 3 and Dragon Age:Inquisition, but my computer says no. Maybe in a year or so, when they’re in a sale, I’ll buy them and put them on my son’s computer. Meanwhile SW:TOR is providing a nice combination of single player story and MMO.

Long time, no post. Like most people, I’ve been playing SW:TOR in my (limited) free time.

I say “like most people”, but I probably mean, “like most people in my guild” or “like many MMO players”. I’m in a situation where I don’t know anyone in real life who plays SW:TOR (apart from my son, and the guild member whom I’ve met in real life). I hardly know of anyone in real life who has heard of SW:TOR.

Such is the loneliness of the older gamer. I very occasionally mention my gaming to friends my age, but there’s nothing to discuss unless they play. I think they’re mildly amused at me pretending to be a gnome or whatever in my free time, but there’s nothing to discuss unless they’re gamers too. Which they’re not.

Even on the internet (never mind real life!), older female gamers don’t have much of a presence. I can only think of one in my guild, and she’s not playing SW:TOR. I’ve had a look for blogs or forums, but haven’t found much – it’s easy enough to find female bloggers, but older female bloggers? And I don’t mean older than 25. I mean around my generation or up. Teenage or older kids, wearing varifocals, remember everything (leggings, dry hair shampoo, Thatchermania, all the older-than-me singers making comebacks, the story referenced in this post title) first time round, etc. We exist, but we seem to be largely invisible.

There are websites, forums and blogs about “girl” gamers. I know that I don’t have to be under 18 to be referred to as a girl, but still, I can’t seem to think of myself as a girl gamer. To be fair to those who do use “girl”, they aren’t exactly spoiled for choice. What should we be called, if our sex is to be identified? Lady gamers? Women gamers? Female gamers? All of those names come with baggage. I’d go for “women” myself, but apart from anything else, I’d lose the alliteration of girl gamers.

And when I’ve read about girl gamer issues, a lot of it seems to be about being “hit on” by guys, something which doesn’t seem to be a problem for me. (Why not, eh? Do they know that I’m somebody’s mum? Can they sense it?). (Not that that’s the only issue. I’ve been reading some interesting stuff about sexism in SW:TOR, something I feel I’m not far enough into the game to make judgment on at the moment). I don’t even have much in common with the women who are juggling (not literally) small children and gaming, although I can sympathise. I’m past the small child stage, and on to the picking up from girlfriend’s (my son’s, not mine) stage.

So what are my specific, older female gamer issues? I suppose that it’s balancing game time, but in a different way. My son goes to bed at the same time as me so I no longer have a couple of clear hours in the evening. I’m in a household which has a certain level of noise right up until bedtime, so using Mumble, Vent, etc., is problematic. I’m having to budget for my son’s education and my own pension, so money is limited. I have health problems that I didn’t have to deal with when I was younger and that can sometimes affect my gaming (I’m convinced that my many medications don’t help!). My eyesight isn’t what it used to be and my varifocals don’t seem to be designed for looking at a computer screen.

These aren’t moans, but just issues that I don’t seem to have in common with other people. The main issue is simply that I’m on my own. I can’t talk to my friends about my gaming because it would be boring and they wouldn’t understand. They don’t seem to feel the urge to game and I don’t understand that! It’s not loneliness as such, because I don’t feel lonely, but maybe aloneness. Solitariness. But with the feeling that there are others like me out there. I just haven’t met them yet.

Somebody's Mum

Somebody's mum's adventures in the gaming world

Return of the middle-aged MMOer (is that a word?)

The loneliness of the less typical gamer